Well, I'm back.
The Florida sunshine was great, but the time with my parents was less warming to my soul. My father was constantly trying to pick a fight (with anyone who would take the bait), my mother is in a blind haze about him, and we basically decided if they want to see us, they will have to do the travelling. We don't want to waste another vacation feeling like we're unwelcome moochers, it's just not worth it. I think having read A New Earth, my eyes are more open to some things-especially the ego and pain body. And I can see just how taken over my father is by both of these phenomenon. He wants to win, at all costs. Neither of my parents put much effort into spending any time with their only grandson...instead they just made it more clear that they are "over" the whole child thing. It still makes me so sad to think about it. Mostly I'm just so disappointed in them. I'm really trying to stay in the present moment, but it's difficult to not brood about all the incidents that happened. (example: on a Sunday morning, my mom is all upset, won't talk about it. Turns out she thought she needed to go grocery shopping, but my father said, NO. So, I go into Key Largo (1/2 hour drive each way), purchase $200 worth of groceries, come home to, "Oh my Lord, where do you think you're going to put all that?!" No help hauling up or unpacking. Then I make a nice, healthy meal of Asian noodle salad, w/o being asked, and my father takes an insultingly small portion)
On the bright side, I have a golden tan and it was the first time I was ready to come back to Sweden.
I did eat some bad things--that grocery run led to an ugly encounter with some Reese's Eggs. And my father is a total sugar junkie, so there was no escaping it. Of course he didn't force me to eat it...but I did. My point is I wasn't in full out binge mode, was fairly under control with my eating.
Despite that, the scale has been very nasty to me. Yesterday it showed I gained about 5 pounds in two weeks, I can accept that...but then, today, it's up an additional 6! I know it's probably a fluke, but still, it's disheartening.
I've been eating clean since Saturday.
And, exercising since Friday. I'm planning on doing the 30 Day Shred with Jillian Micheal's for the next few weeks. I previewed it yesterday, and did level 1 today. It looked so easy, but doing it was HARD. :-) I'll try to do 2 weeks (10 workouts) at each level, so it should take me six weeks to get through it.
We're going down to my in-laws for Easter on Thursday...so I'll miss my Friday (and maybe Mondays) workout. The weather has been fabulous here, 50-65 F, and mostly sunny. There is a lot to be done in my garden!
I hope you're all doing well, I'm looking forward to catching up:-)
Welcome back. Sorry the trip wasn't all you'd hoped for....I can certainly relate. I think sometimes my expectations get way too big and there is no way they will ever be met. (Especially where family is involved!)
ReplyDeleteGood luck with your plan this week. I'm certainly pulling for you!
Sorry your trip was disappointing in some ways. I'm sure those nasty pounds that crept on will be gone soon with your eating clean and doing the 30-day shred (man -- I've got to check that DVD out; it's certainly popular here in blogland).
ReplyDeleteGlad to see you back! Don't worry about the weight gain, long flights do all sorts of crazy things to water retention. Even if you did gain weight, just jump back on the wagon and don't dwell on what's done.
ReplyDeleteGood luck with the Shred! It's soo hard!
Sorry about the family issues. The best thing to do for your health is to let it go and forgive them. Traveling can wreak havoc on the weight, it's probably temporary. Sounds like you are getting right back on track.
ReplyDeleteFamily is the source of all evil ;) I never stay more than a few days with mine, because I know it will make me want to do BAD things as far as eating is concerned. But it’s natural to try when you want your child to know his grandparents, I know. Hope you’re doing better now. :)
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