Well, the scale was down yesterday, but today it's back up! Grrrr! That means only a .4 pound loss this week despite a mysterious 3 pound gain last week. I know I'm on track though, so I just have to keep it up. I've been pretty good with my clean eating challenge ala MargieAnne, as usual, I've been struggling to get my veggies in. Two days ago I started eating red peppers and cucumbers with spicy creme fraiche dip. Its easy to eat an entire pepper for lunch that way!
As for exercise, I did more than ever last week. Monday and Tuesday, I doubled up and did Pilates and cardio. Wednesday, I missed. Thursday I did cardio, and Saturday I did Pilates...so 3 each.
My son has been an absolute terror lately. Extremely demanding, nagging, acting out and testing me every minute. I do not have any privacy, nor do I seem to have any rights to eat or drink anything without him slobbering all over it first.
I looked back through the "elephant legs" photos from last week. They are still bad, but not as bad as my mind held them after that first viewing...I guess that tells me that I do need to work on my body image, it's surely linked to my negative self talk.
In therapy, we "conjured" up my 3 year old self...and I'm supposed to be checking on her a couple of times a day, and if I get upset. It's pretty abstract, but I'm trying. I've been upset a lot this weekend (my husband was away most of the time), and Saturday, while I was playing with my son in my bed I had a moment that I think is worthy to remember. The play had turned a bit rough-he was jumping on my stomach rather violently, and I was trying to stop him. I basically spiraled down into a pit, feeling hopeless, and like I had no control of the situation. At that point, I checked on 3 year old me. And I ended up laying on my back in bed, with my hands crossed in front of me, protectively, and my legs curled up. I think my take away was that I was scared, and wanted protection.
This week, I'm eating for induction again. And am aiming for 4 workouts. We're going to my in-laws on Friday, coming back Saturday night. Three weeks from tomorrow we head to Michigan-I'm obviously not going to make my 230 goal, which is 14 pounds off. So, I'll have to readjust and aim to be out of the 240s.
I'm really craving some retail therapy. I want new clothes, but I am really trying to NOT buy anything for myself until I get a significant amount off. Many of my old clothes are fitting...so I really don't need anything. Except, perhaps, a swimsuit....but I'm going to hold off until next spring, I think. By then I should be able to fit into a regular size, and be done with plus sizes for good! I'll just have to wear stretched out baggy suits this summer. I've never done a "no buy" like this before...I'm hoping it will give me further motivation. Because, really, what good is it to buy something that you're only going to wear briefly? Especially when I'm not going to an office or anything. I do have sufficient summer/resort clothes in my current size and slightly tight...winter may be a different story, though. Anyhow, sorry for that rambling...guess I'm just trying to talk myself out of buying stuff for me. Children's clothes are much more fun to buy anyhow! *g*
"I'm really craving some retail therapy"
ReplyDeleteI know that feeling !!!
Well done on not giving in to temptation (retail or otherwise). The exercise you did last week sounds great -- sometimes it just takes longer to show up on the scale.
Best wishes.
You will probably see the loss you want to see next week. It seems that sometimes it takes time to show up. It will happen.
ReplyDeleteIt's really not fair that mysterious pounds sometimes hang on when we've clearly indicated by our actions that they are not wanted! We should speak to someone about that. :)
ReplyDeleteI really love (and am inspired by) your attitude. You just dig in and keep going! Well done!
Hey you are really going well.
ReplyDeleteI'm afraid I had a break today. It has been a very special day and I took some liberties with my meals but I'm back on the straight and narrow again.
I am the same way, make that bathing suit a reward for a certain amount of lost weight.
ReplyDeleteAwesome job!!
Well done on the exercise! Go ahead and buy a new swimsuit. It may not be the size you want, but it will make you feel better about yourself than the old baggy ones!
ReplyDeleteIt's great you're identifying things that hurt you that you've covered up with eating or retail therapy or other things. They can't heal until you acknowledge them.
ReplyDeleteWhy not try using exercise instead of shopping? Exercise can become very addictive because it feels so stinking good! It's a great thing to be addicted to!
Wow, that's a lot of exercise you fit in - well done!
ReplyDeleteDarn the scale, it shouldn't control our thinking, but it does. I bet next week you'll see better results.
my toddler terror can drive me to eat too many treats.
ReplyDeletesigh.
MizFit