HYC/CCCC Update

Grrrr, the scale is up .8 pounds this morning! (I was down Saturday morning...) This is soooooooo frustrating for me! I feel like I do everything right. I walked my a$$ off last week, ate less than usual, drank more water than usual and still, I gain. I know it's probably just a blip, but I really feel like I'm getting no where. I was soooooo ready to put up a -25 pounds badge, too!

On a brighter note, I did drink 16 ounces of water each morning before my coffee. Soon, this will be a habit-a good one! I had a good time with my brother, we showed him all over Stockholm, and I was able to appreciate the architecture a bit. I resisted many temptations, but I had a few sips of red wine on Saturday night. We did eat out 5 times, so who knows if my salt is out of whack...I certainly don't feel bloated.

My brother's girlfriend is a skinny-minnie. I folded a pair of her jeans out of the dryer, and they (I swear to God!) felt like they were the size of my son's 3Ts in the thigh. I peeked at the label, and they said 26, which I guess is the totally average female waist size. That just feels so unobtainable to me.

My husband is on a last minute trip to the States this week. He left this morning and will be back either Friday or Saturday. At least he didn't have to leave yesterday. It's just amazing, that amid this financial crisis, his firm (the brokers, really) are sending 2 from his team on a week long trip costing at least $20,000 in travel, not to mention his not being able to do his normal work this week. *shaking head*

Now, all these things add up to me being on the binge teeter-totter. You know the one? Its the one where you have conversations with yourself saying things like:

"Hmmmmm, hubby is away. Why don't I just get some Reese's?"
"No. I've fought too hard to get here, I don't want to ruin it by starting down that road. I know one Reese's cup will lead me to the sugar highway to hell."
"But what does it matter? You're not making any progress anyhow."
"Maybe not on the scale...but my insides are changing!"

Maybe I'll settle that battle by making a legal treat...like pumpkin custard?

I really feel like I have to fight, and fight hard, for every pound I lose these days. Maybe it's because I'm getting older. Maybe it's because of all the yo-yo-ing I've done in the past (thanks to that internal dialogue I posted up above....10 pounds up, 10 pounds down). Maybe it's just a set point that I need to struggle past and then it will be easier again. I'll probably never know the answer to that one, but I suspect it's not going to get much easier. I just don't know if I have the stamina for a it if I have to battle for 50 more pounds, one at a time.

I'll just have to find it, somehow. I want to be thin and healthy, for myself. For my son. And for my husband.

I hope every one's having a better week than me.