I think the SCALE is PMSing!

I am definitely PMSing, and I think I've dragged the scale down with me. Only the scale has moved up for two days now! It's so frustrating, but I'll get over it. Also, I'm wearing a tank top/cami that's too short. It holds my boobs nicely, but it hits me at the waist instead of hips and keeps rolling up over my fat. It's making me feel like a c-o-w!

Yesterday afternoon I really started feeling the effects of PMS that I haven't felt in a while. I felt fidgety, impatient and extremely antsy. I haven't noticed this as it relates to my period for a while, because it's pretty much how I feel all the time if I'm eating bad carbs. Still, I get this feeling of not knowing what to do with myself, and I tend to space out into my aloof stratosphere. Those symptoms feel a bit better this morning, but I'm totally exhausted, headachey, had weird dreams this morning and it's cold (22F) outside. We woke up late, and I've yet to strip the bed or make Babe's super porridge, or even finish emptying the dishwasher. Exercise didn't happen this morning--I could save myself and do it this afternoon. We'll see how the day goes.

Luckily, my house is stocked with healthy food and no bad choices exist. Otherwise, I may have faltered. Since it's so chilly today, I think I'll take a nice LUSH bath while Babe is napping.

I've also been contemplating NEED vs WANT. And, I'm having a difficult time separating them. Material things...sure, most of them just go in the want pile. But what about when I leave my therapy session, and get in the car with hubby...My first thought was, "I need him to ask me how it went or what we talked about." But, do I really? Most times I get in the car after a session, and he starts rambling on about his day/bonus (which was fine, by the way)/what happened with Babe at the library/etc. Same when he comes home from work. I don't feel like he asks me important stuff. And when I tell him, half the time he's checked out via blackberry/TV/Internet. His excuse is always that he's such a focused person. Granted, he needs to be able to focus to do the job he does, and that is integral to his success. But it still ticks me off to no end when he can be sitting right next to me/us on the couch and I can look right at him, say something plain as day and it won't register with him. It seems like he should be able to turn the "focus" knob down a few notches for Brother's and Sisters verses conference call, you know?

OK, sorry about that rant...back to what I really NEED to be a loving, happy and balanced person. Perhaps I have a warped sense of communication. I tend to think along the lines of: If I have to ask for it, it's not as genuine as if it is offered up without prompting. But, since my husband has such a strong ability to focus, he tends to miss a lot of my subtle clues I feel like I constantly send out.

Maybe this ties right into my childhood "trauma" mentioned before? Maybe I didn't feel like I received the attention I deserved when I was a three year old little girl, amidst all that family chaos? Maybe this explains some of my cries for attention (teenage promiscuity and rebellious nature, for example), and taking attention that I can get--even if it's not the best kind...

So, perhaps this is an example of a true need? Perhaps we humans require more than food, shelter and clothing? Of course we can get by on the three basic needs...but what is the point of just getting by? Shouldn't we all be living our lives to the fullest? Hence, we will have some emotional needs that need to be fulfilled.

Apologies if that wasn't the most coherent or eloquent thing...I was essentially thinking out loud.

Wishing everyone a wonderful weekend!